We Are Indigo

I try to only blog about my personal life in a way that transcends my own experience and relates to something we all share. With that said, all we have to relate to one another with is our own experience. So let this be my own experience of women…

(Please appreciate exhibit A: Awkwardly friendly male)

Having had the fortune of being surrounded by such self-motivated, independent, loving and respecting female individuals, has given me a first hand understanding of the true worth of a woman. I think the reality that we are about to graduate college is making me realize just how much each one of these women has to give to the world.

I don’t believe in amping my friends without due reason (even though some would disagree, but that’s just because they’re being modest).  If I am amping you, or speaking highly of you, it’s because I believe it. With that said…

I know I have already posted about Angie’s fashion blog, but she also just wrote her first fashion article online (hopefully the first of many to come) for the DC Examiner. It’s short and sweet, and she gives fresh fashion tips appropriate for all shapes and sizes. She always infuses a youthful spirit into her style, which I love.

I’m hoping my little poet over at SuspendedM (who just also happens to be one of my best friends, I know what a coincidence), will start picking up speed with her blog and get in the swing of things, because I love hearing what she has to say.
Like I have said many times before, it is always a difficult task to share such personal parts of ourselves in such a public realm, so i commend anyone who confronts this challenge with courage and honesty.

I truly am grateful to have become friends with some amazing individuals. I am always learning from each of them. They have made me tougher, challenged me to step outside my comfort zone and encouraged me to pursue the things that I care about most. But I think more than their friendship, simply knowing them for who they are as individuals has added most to my life. I could go on, but I think you get the basic idea.

So here’s to the people in your life that have made you a better person, in whatever small way shape or form. *Cheers*

Sometimes, there are some things that only a best friend can make you see. Recently, I was having a conversation with my best friend, (we’ve been going strong since 2nd grade), which started off about her but somehow turned over to me.

Someone once said that the sign of true friendship is not in all the things that can be talked about but in all those things that do not have to be mentioned. … or something like that. Well, in my case, this couldn’t be more true. She has been by my side through everything, and there is no secret I keep from her. And most often, as was the case with this conversation, she sheds light on the reality of my tendancy to be too harsh on myself. She reminds me of what I can not see, or choose not to see about myself. Why do I downplay where I’ve been and how long I’ve come? Every choice I have made has had a consequence and I have faced each one with hope and confidence.

Never downplay the affect friendship can have on your life if you open yourself up to its gift.

Today is June 14, 2010. What have you done to let the people in your life know they are loved? What grudge have you let go of from yesterday? What fear will you leave behind today? I’m unsure as to whether or not I should touch upon the fact that I haven’t blogged in exactly four months….. yikes. That’s a long hiatus if I’ve ever seen one. I will give no excuses but will say that my leave of absence was not taken in vain. It has most certainly been a fruitful Spring. My second semester Junior year was one I will not forget and during which made some friends I know I will keep for a long time. What I learned—-> You never know the effect you can have on one person or what they may be going through when you cross paths. No act of kindness goes unnoticed.

In the calm, we are able to look back at the ruins that the storm has left and reflect with a clear mind. We know it will not be the last but we will be better prepared for the ones to come. The storms are inevitable, but the strength we gather from them is up to us. The lessons are there for us to learn, but often times we choose to overlook them. It is the learning that we find so difficult to face.

I tire easily around people who always need to be right. Granted, I’ve had my share of these moments, but doesn’t it get exhausting continuously having to prove your point? If we only concern ourselves with being right, we will find no room for growth. After all, how could it be that we already know everything and so have nowhere to grow?

So, my point is this…

If learning is the difficult part, then humility is the challenge and our ego is the obstacle. Ask yourself, is it better to be right or to be free? I know my answer now.

How much time do you spend thinking about the friendships you have? I don’t mean actually thinking about your friends, but rather the nature of the relationships you have with them. Like, at what point do you consider someone a friend and not just an acquaintance? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you just click with someone you meet and the friendship seems to grown over night. But this isn’t how it usually works. Like any relationship, friendships take time to build and become meaningful.

I try not to write about my personal life, but I’ve been going through something lately that has forced me to do a heavy load of reflecting in my life. Along the way, it has shown me what real friends are like. Without their support, I wonder if I would have had the strength to do the things I’ve done and come this far. We all have struggles, big and small, that we need help getting through. It’s during those times when you realize how grateful you are to have those people behind you.

Aristotle believed happiness to be the virtuous activity of the soul over the whole life. And in talking about happiness, he also distinguished three bases of friendship; those based on utility, pleasure, and virtue. To break this down, I would say we have our work friends, our weekend friends, and our true friends. The characteristics of a virtuous friendship, where we have our true friends, is a mutual caring and genuine concern for the well being of each other.

How many of your friends can you say you actually feel this way about? Any? I guess this presumes that you have these qualities and are not completely selfish. I would say it’s probably difficult to feel this way about someone if the feeling is not mutual. But it’s interesting to think about the nature of our own relationships with the company we keep.

There are obviously different levels of friendship, and often it may just be a matter of time for a friendship to grow and mature. I have said this many times before, and not just in regards to friends, but across all aspects of my life… quality over quantity. Because what’s the point in having many friends based on pleasure, and none based on virtue? In actuality, the best friendship can be a combination of both, but the reality is – it takes both time and effort to build relationships.

Today, it is all about advertising yourself and racking up friends and “followers.” But how many of those people would you actually confide in (never mind hold more than a 10 minute conversation with)??? I could be wrong, but I’m willing to guess few. I’m not saying don’t make new friends. I am saying I think we need to make better quality friends. True, the benefits of networking can never be underestimated. My point however, is simply the importance of high quality friends.

With so much communication over technology and the internet these days, there are so many distractions to making real connections with people. I’m not preaching, because I’m guilty of it too, but I definitely think it’s something we should stay aware of. Value the true friends you have. Never take them for granted. Keep your eyes open for other real friendships around you, and don’t waste your time with the disingenuous ones. Life is too short to surround yourself with the wrong people.

All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
- George Macdonald