I know, I know, again, but there’s something I want to get at here. I already posted on Rihanna’s side of the story, and also Chris’s The Way We Used To Be video he made for RiRi. But this is that last one… I promise. Lots of times we see these things happen and don’t think how they can relate to our own lives. Maybe you haven’t been physically abused, but what about emotionally? What about, has someone ever wronged you? Or have you ever wronged someone you cared about or loved? If you say no, then you’re just not being honest.

Think about a mistake you have made recently. Maybe it’s a new one, or maybe it’s one that has developed into a habit. We’re all human. We make mistakes. Often times, we even make the same mistakes over and over again. Sometimes we learn from them, but usually we don’t. We all live with illusions, both about ourselves and about how others view us. We like to think it is the world around us that needs to change, while we remain the same, because we are terrified to face ourselves. In reality, it is both us and the world around us that needs changing.

While Chris’s “mistake” may be more severe than the slip-ups most of us make on a daily basis, a common principal still holds true. We all have parts of ourselves that we have difficulty coming to terms with and mistakes that somehow we can’t own up to. Often times this is because we may see an action as being “inconsistent” with our perception of ourselves. In response to his mistake, Chris says,

“I’ve come to terms with it, and I’m working on it: being better and [not] doing things like that, because that’s not a characteristic of mine that’s been in the past or right now.”

This is a perfect example of what it really means to “come to terms” with something. Whether he wants to take accountability for that or not, it is on some level, a part of his character. Too often in life, we are allowed to spread the blame of our actions in other directions. Hopefully, the fact that Chris was forced to deal with this situation publicly will help him in the long run when it comes to facing himself and turning the finger of blame inward.

There is a lot of talk in the interview of “being naive,” “owning up,” and “coming to terms.” But words are just that and no more. It’s been 6 months since the incident. Problems like this don’t go away over night and can take lifetimes to change. Chris is human, and his situation is reflective of one that we all face – owning our own destiny. Only time will tell if this truly will be the last “mistake.” But between now and then, maybe it is enough to admit our blunders, take responsibility and be willing to change.

“Change will never happen when people lack the ability and courage to see themselves for who they are.”
- Bryant H. McGill

In the interview, Diane Sawyer asks, “How could this happen to someone so strong?… People said, [Rihanna] always seemed like the least likely person to be in this situation.” It seems like a reasonable question, but in reality, anyone can fall in love, and it doesn’t matter how strong or independent you are. “So far in love and so unconditional,” as Rihanna says. Love is blind.

During the incident, Rihanna refers to Chris as being “blacked out,” and says that there was no person in him. It’s scary to look in the eyes of a person you love, and not see them there, to see nothing. Rihanna’s right, she didn’t cause what happened to her, and too often, victims of domestic violence turn the blame on themselves. There are a lot of women who have experienced what she did, just not in the public eye, and it’s unfortunate and sad that Rihanna’s personal life had to serve as an example for other girls. I commend her for coming forward and talking about it. She took a huge step in leaving, one that many girls in her position will never see through.

I admire her for getting out and not making excuses. She can admit that she still loves and cares for Chris, and can still even wish the best for him. At the same time, however, she recognizes that their love was unhealthy. Like she says, to be able to get out of the situation and look at it with a clear mind, that is what makes the difference. On the other hand, Rihanna says she does think it’s possible for people to change. This is something that I struggle with. Because I think that sometimes people are so incapable of seeing themselves clearly, it is nearly impossible for them to even begin the process of change. With that being said, she’s a strong girl, and this has only made her stronger.

“I think we all wish we could erase some dark times in our lives. But all of life’s experiences, bad and good, make you who you are. Erasing any of life’s experiences would be a great mistake.”
- Luis Miguel

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”
- Thomas S. Szasz

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“My life ain’t got no better, so you must not have gotten my letter. So starting today, Imma admit my mistake. Whatever you wanna say, baby, I’m listening.” Sad part is that he probably wants to mean it. Chris Brown released this video on his Twitter page and stated, “Being honest makes you strong!” I would definitely agree on that. However, there are some things we just can’t make up for. Even if this video makes me cry. I often look at people’s intentions over their actions and tend to give others the “benefit of the doubt” which usually bites me in the ass. At what point do we say good intentions aren’t enough and hold ourselves and others accountable for our actions?