I like this Charlie Brooker! I’m so glad he brings my feelings of reality shitshow tv to light.

Wishing a Happy Valentines Day to everyone! I find it so interesting that one Holiday could have so much angst surrounding it. In my book, it’s just another day, a reminder of our reality (whatever that may be). Being single is not the end of the world, and every relationship is not perfect. I’m just glad I didn’t buy a Hallmark card this year.

This video’s from back in 2008. The song from the video is actually Shh by Donora, who I did a post on in the beginning of February. Enjoy!

We watched this video in one of my classes last week. So sad, SO true!!

When presented with the all too daunting and overwhelming question of the “meaning of life,” I always come back to one answer: the pursuit of self-awareness. The above picture is of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, that is our instinctual needs as human beings. It is pretty self-explanatory, and I’m sure you can draw your own meaning from it.

Is it us that change or is it just our surroundings? Do experiences really change us or do they just change how we think about the world? A few of my friends have left to study abroad in the past couple weeks, going everywhere from Paris to Prague to Madrid to Norway. It got me thinking of my Summer in London and the experience I had there.

I definitely gained some confidence and valuable experience in the Design industry, but how much did the experience really change me? I think making the decision to live abroad, getting accustomed to a new culture and becoming familiar with a new city, have all added in parts to my independence. Sometimes, (if this is not true about everything in our lives for certain people), we do things because we want them to change us in some way, or we want to grow somehow from the experience. I went abroad because I wanted to expand my knowledge not only of another culture but also of myself in some sense.

Last night I was chatting with a friend about relationships which eventually turned into a conversation about change, primarily the question whether or not people can change. I’ve always wanted to believe that people can change, but it’s something I’ve battled with for years. Sometimes we want something so badly that we convince ourselves we can change either ourselves or another person involved. What we fail to see however is that change takes time, and we have no control over someone else’s progress and growth, which is independent from our own.

When we finally can realize actually how little control we have over others, it can free us from the burdens of this naive and usually unfulfilled hope. Often times when we love someone, or even when we don’t, we choose to see that person for who we want them to be instead of who they actually are. Similarly, we see ourselves for who we aim to be instead of who we present ourselves as. Just as when we see, what we experience is affected by what we already know and believe to be true.

I’m not saying that there is no hope for change and growth. I am however saying that it is extremely difficult, and a process that takes years if not a lifetime. And I think that’s ok. For in reality, if we started out perfect, where would we have to progress? As humans we are flawed. I think the trick is to recognize those flaws and address them humbly. If we are to love someone fully, we must love them with all of their flaws and accept that they are human.

If we are to change at all in any way, we must be able to look at ourselves for what we truly are, in an honest light. We must then, and not first, be actually willing to change something. As long as we think it is the world around us that needs changing and not us, we will never be able to grow.

There is a quote I have always liked… it goes something like, “love is an environment which you surround someone with in order for them to grow to their fullest potential.”

In our lifetime, we are constantly moving through different environments. Our moods are affected by so many different factors, both external and internal. I am what you would call a “highly sensitive person.” My mood depends greatly on those of the people around me. It is exhausting living with our emotions day in and day out, our ever changing moods clashing with others. This is where love comes in. It’s like our immune system, fighting off infections and disease. There is no big plastic bubble to step into to protect ourselves from the world around us. But when love is present, somehow the fight seems to fade away and become less important. When someone loves us fully and entirely with all of our flaws, it gives us courage. We are surrounded with an environment which allows us to thrive and grow.

Moment of truth – I haven’t been inspired much on the subject of love lately, but I was looking back in my journal, and I had written this a couple years back. I still think it holds true and not just in romantic relationships.

In romantic love you want the other person. In real love you want the other person’s good.
-    Margaret Anderson

Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
-    Robert Heinlein

Keep your heart and mind open always!

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

“Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.”

“Spend some amount of time alone everyday.”

“Open yourself to change, but do not let go of your values.”

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s
ability, one can build a better world.”

“Once a year, go some place you have never been.”

“Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.”

“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message;
that is love, compassion, and forgiveness are the important things
that should be part of our daily lives.”

Massow Concept Motorcycles have created the leaping jaguar bike which they call the “Night Shadow.” This bike weighs in at almost 800 pounds thanks to the fiber glass cat. I wouldn’t mind taking a ride on the back of this Jaguar. I’m not sure it looks so comfortable though. My favorite part? I mean besides the whole concept, it’s the headlight coming from the open mouth.

This year has been a bumpy one! But then again, the road never stays smooth for too long. While I am not a firm believer in “deciding to turn your whole life around” on New Years Day, I do look at it as an opportunity – An opportunity to let go of the past, wipe your hands, and usher in the new. To me, New Years is a reminder of the opportunity we have every day to control our destiny. So if you haven’t already this year, take some time out to reflect back on where you were last New Years, and what you may and may not have accomplished. What are you proud of? What do you regret? Now multiply your successes and minimize your mistakes.

Forgiveness is something easier talked about than actually done (this includes forgiving ourselves). There are some mistakes we are able to forgive with little difficulty, while others seem to bring an endless serving of guilt and or blame.

Life is about changes, and more of the little ones for that matter. It’s less about the changes outside us that we can’t control and more about the changes inside of us that we can.

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
-    Lewis B. Smedes

“A person who makes few mistakes makes little progress.”
-    Bryant H. McGill

“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.”
-    Swami Sivananda

With that said,

Happy New Beginnings in 2010!

Nelson Mandela and The Game that Made A Nation

Clint Eastwood’s Invictus starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon, focuses in on the Rugby World Cup of 1995. Shortly after Nelson Mandela emerged from 27 years in prison and became president of South Africa in 1994, he seized upon using a rugby World Cup the following year as an opportunity to rally the entire nation, blacks and whites, behind the far-fetched prospect of South Africa taking it home.

The film, which hit theaters early December, was originally titled “The Human Factor.” However, the later chosen title, “Invictus” refers to a poem that Mandela recited by William Ernest Henley. Freeman, now 72, was cast for the role of Mandela long before the script was written. During a press conference in the ’90s, the South African leader was asked who he’d like to play him in a movie version of his life. His answer: Morgan Freeman. And once you see the movie, you’ll agree, it’s as if Freeman had been born to play this role.

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Merry Christmas! I just got back from midnight Mass with my family. And that was only the end to a long night of Kibbe Nayye (which is raw kibbe), chicken and rice, and my Dad playing Lebanese drums. There was much more in between, but those were just my highlights.

During the service, the minister brought up how “It is better to give than it is to receive.” I have said before that much of my happiness is dependent on the happiness of the people I love. So I have always found the most pleasure in seeking out the right Christmas gifts. When it comes to presents (especially bad ones), people always say, “It’s the thought that counts.” Well, I say, think harder. I don’t mean think bigger, or more expensive, just harder. When you’re giving someone a present, think about that person. Unless you’re giving a Secret Santa gift, you have to know something about this person to be able to pick out a gift for them. People will always appreciate gifts that show you know something about them, something they are interested in, even if it’s something small. Otherwise, if it’s just the thought that counts, then just write them a card….. with your thought in it.

Anyways, my point is this: Christmas is not about getting the right presents, it’s about giving them! And not just the ones wrapped under the tree. It’s about being there with your family and the people you love, and showing them you care for them. I think this can go for the Holidays in general and is not just specific to Christmas. I can promise you that you will always feel more fulfilled if you give more than you receive.

I made my neice a tree ornament this year for her first Christmas. Even though it cost me next to nothing, I was more excited about making it for her than anything else. When things get tough, she reminds me how blessed we are and how important it is to be thankful for not only what we have but also who we have to share it with. So this year, I am thankful for the people (big and small) that I love and their presence in my life!

Milad Majid!!!

(which is Arabic for Merry Christmas)