We Are Indigo

CROSSING BORDERS (Trailer, 3 mins) from CROSSING BORDERS on Vimeo.

One of my favorite classes thus far in my college education has been a sociology course that I am taking this (final ) semester at BC, called Black and Green. The heart of the course focuses on Environmental Racism and the Black Community. Over the span of the semester we have delved into the experience of different environmentally oppressed groups, their relationship to the earth and the policies and social rituals that keep them oppressed. More than anything, I have been left wondering one question. Where has our soul gone?

Where has our appreciation gone for that which is sacred in all of us? How can we learn from those who were here before us, the Native Americans, and other groups who seem to be so in tune with the earth? How do I reclaim that which white mainstream society has robbed me of– my soul? And how can I ensure my children are not deprived of theirs?

Throughout the semester, we have been working on creating our own monologues centered around a contemporary symbol of environmentalism. It has been truly an amazing experience getting to hear each person perfrom their story in class and to see each from such an inspiringly personal light.

We each have our own stories. A favorite poem of mine reads, “Just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head.” All experience is unique. I think to share our stories with one another is more than just a beautiful thing. It is healing, awakening, loving, and knowing. While my monologue is still a work in progress, I thought I would share it as it stands with you, anonymous reader. Don’t worry, the journey is only about 8 minutes, but I hope you enjoy

Ashes To Ashes

“Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” a phrase I have become accustomed to hearing at funeral services, comes from the Book of Common Prayer. The original text states, “till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you will return.” We have no trouble memorizing the words but yet their meaning often takes lifetimes to understand. When we die, we will return to nothing more than the energy we give back to the earth.

The discussion of burial versus cremation is one that has gone on for centuries. Because of the lack of physical space it requires and the fact that cremated remains are not a health or environmental risk, cremation has slowly made its way into environmental discussions as a green alternative to burial.

But moving beyond space, we cannot delve into an environmental discussion without addressing the significance of the soul and its meanings to different kinds of People.. The Roman Catholic Church’s discouragement of cremation stemmed mainly from the idea that the body, as the instrument through which the sacraments are received, is itself a sacramental, holy object.  In the Catholic Church, ashes are the sign of the corruption of the human body, and thus inadequately represent the character of ‘sleeping’ awaiting the resurrection.

In other cultures however such as in India, open-air cremation is a common practice. Both Hinduism and Buddhism mandate cremation. In these religions, the body is seen as an instrument to carry the soul. According to Hindu philosophy the human body is a combination of five basic natural elements: fire, water, air, earth and sky. When we die, fire (in the form of cremation) is used to complete the fifth element by returning the body, our living form, to its original state of creation. According to Hindu traditions, the reasons for preferring to destroy the corpse by fire, over burying it, is to motivate a sense of detachment into the freshly disembodied spirit. This detachment from all that is physical is an essential component in passing into the next life. Hindus believe that the cremation ceremony is not just a disposal of the body, but also the actual union of the soul with the universal spirit.

I found many relations to this belief in a union of soul and universal spirit in a found poem, entitled “Last Talk with Jim Hardwick.” In the poem, the author speaks of the conservation of the soul through the transfer of our energy after death.

Last Talk with Jim Hardwick
A “found” poem

When I die I will live again.
By nature I am a conserver.
I have found Nature
To be a conserver, too.
Nothing is wasted
Or permanently lost
In Nature. Things change their form,
But they do not cease
to exist. After
I leave this world
I do not believe I am through.
God would be a bigger fool
Then even a man
If He did not conserve
The human soul,
Which seems to be
The most important thing
He has yet done in the universe.
When you get your grip
On the last rung of the ladder
And look over the wall
As I am now doing,
You don’t need their proofs:
You see.
You know
You will not die.

Growing up white, middle class and Catholic, I always felt a certain falsity in my religious roots. Sunday school and Sunday Church filled me with feelings of obligation and guilt. The language used in my teachings was abstract and foreign. A language I could not identify with. It personified my spirituality as God. Portraits of Him told me he was a white male, and my teachings never suggested otherwise. When it came to death, like the male dominated, patriarchal society, Christianity told me my eternal soul belonged in a box.

It was not until I heard the teachings of Buddhism at a spiritual retreat that I stumbled upon my spirituality. Buddhism teaches that through the practice of detachment, we reach the ultimate nature of our physical form, being light and emptiness within the light. The literal meaning of enlightenment is the state of attaining spiritual knowledge or insight. Through meditation, I felt lightness and simultaneously an energy connecting me to the air around me. I felt my breath expand, and in that moment my energy was not confined to the limits of my body, but was free to harmonize with the air and thus the earth. I understood the reason behind the connection of my soul to a universal spirit. Buddhism helped me find a way out of this box that society had put me in.

Us educated people; we are well versed on the benefits of whole foods and the virtuousness of social justice. The mainstream environmental movement talks about conserving trees, endangered species and natural resources, but we neglect the conservation of that which is most important, the soul. We are so busy micromanaging the environmental movement that we fail to see the big picture. It is the soul that seeds the roots from which these virtues grow. It is our soul that keeps us going and working for the environment even when hopeful signs are hard to see.  Through Buddhism I have seen this different form of conservation of the soul, one that allows my spirit and mind to extend beyond confines.

Where people are buried they have an attachment to the land, restricting them to their worldly situation and circumstances. Their resting place maintains a hierarchy to which they are bound by the land even through death. We decorate our loved ones in coffins as if to preserve something in them. We burry them with loved possessions as if worried they might get lonely without them. Do we have to carry our obsession with consumerism with us even to the grave? We have cultivated a fascination with materialism that we can not let go of, so much so that we can not imagine a life outside our own body.

Like our materialist society, environmentalists focus on what you as an individual can buy to make you closer to nature, a shirt, a water bottle, a car, but I realize now that until we conserve our immaterial soul and let go of our material fixations, even in death, we will still be piling up the waste and taking up too much space.

Like the author of the poem, I have often felt unknown, both to myself and to others. The history of mainstream culture has deprived me of a connection with nature. But I am a conserver, and I have found nature to be a conserver too. Traces of my roots and my life reach further than any town limits or cemetery stonewalls. My soul needs no resting place. It will continue on to live and breathe in the absence of my body, which has only been a vessel. You can’t cover my spirit with foundation, eye shadow and lipstick. It may hide death in my face, but it won’t beautify my spirit.I can not be confined, not by religion, not by my race, not by my class. I will not be put in a box, not in life, and not in death.

OK, it’s time for me to get my hands dirty with Feminisms publicly. I was hesitant to even put the word “feminisms” in the title of this post, for the simple fear it may ignite in some readers, undoubtedly causing them to exit the screen like their mom just caught them watching porn.

If you’re still reading that means you have overcome your fear of feminists (ok fine, but at least you’re entertaining the idea). If you are wary about feminists, I would encourage you to keep reading. As an individual who runs at the sight of any word ending in “ist,” or any other words accompanied by a red flag screaming extremist, I have struggled with the label of being a feminist.

What I have learned- To me, being a feminist means wanting and even demanding equal rights, opportunities and treatment for women. In no way do I have to sacrifice my love and appreciation for my male counter-part, but I can strive for a world where we are both seen as equal individuals, transcendent of our gendered experiences.

I’ve had many men roll their eyes and smirk at my remark on taking an Introduction to Feminisms course. Each one making a point of telling me how they would not be caught dead taking such a course, their mouth or their eyes would say something along the lines of “To voluntarily be held in a room full of angry PMSing man-haters? Girl you must be crazy…” So this thread will be my personal plea for a radical rediscovery of what it means to be a feminist.

Throughout history, feminists have been forced to make a choice, often between adhering to their cultural standards and advancing the status of women. For white feminists, race is an issue that mostly does not come into play, remaining a taboo topic of conversation.
On the other hand, black women find themselves in a situation separate from their white counter-parts and other feminists, having to deal with the conflicts within their own race as women as well as in relation to those in white mainstream society. Lorde also points out the fact that “Black women are still the lowest paid group in the nation by sex and race.” Not only are they devalued by their race but in addition they are burdened by their gender.

In society, we’re often pressured to choose one aspect of our identity over another. Rarely are we given the freedom to embrace all aspects of our identity. As Lorde says, “addressing [feminist] issues does not make us any less black.” How does being a feminist detract from a woman’s black identity in respect to what it means to be black or any other race or ethnicity for that matter? What are the implications of this?

Another consequence of feminism is that often women trying to advance their value are seen as being a threat to men. So often feminists are labeled as man-haters. But why can’t women have the freedom to practice self-love and compassion without being a supposed threat to their male counterpart? Why can’t we coexist and thrive together without assumed intentions of stomping the other out? Where is the argument that we can’t exist equally and live in harmony?

I could not agree more with Lorde when she says that, “one tool of the Great-American-Double-Think is to blame the victim for victimization.” The oppressor always looks to the oppressed for the exact understanding that they lack. “Women are said to invite rape and murder and abuse by not being submissive enough, or by being too seductive.” This hypocritical cycle of blame is paralyzing and crippling to the overall advancement of both the oppressed and the oppressor together. One’s desire to love oneself should not have to imply their hatred or abandonment of another group.

This constant battle of identity is one that women have faced throughout history across race, nationality, and class. Venturing outside the discourse of women, we still see this battle play out in many forms of identity, from race and class to sexual orientation and race. We also see a similar identity complex between being a nationalist and a feminist.
How do we form our identity? And how do we come to make peace with our seemingly conflicted parts? These are important issues that face us all, regardless of gender, race, class or nationality. Where do you fit in, and what will be your stance?

P.S. This post was inspired by a paper I recently wrote for my Introduction to Feminisms course. Stay tuned for more articles on the topic of modern day Feminisms Thanks for reading

This is one of my favorite poems/spoken word arrangements. Enjoy

Being Human

by Haima

I wonder if the sun debates dawn

Some mornings
Not wanting to rise
Out of bed
From under the down-feather horizon

If the sky grows tired
Of being everywhere at once
Adapting to the mood swings of the weather

If the clouds drift off
Trying to hold themselves together
Make deals with gravity
To loiter a little longer

I wonder if rain is scared
Of falling
If it has trouble letting go

If snow flakes get sick
Of being perfect all the time
Each one trying to be one-of-a-kind

I wonder if shadows long
To once feel the sun
If they get lost in the shuffle
Not knowing where they’re from

I wonder if sunrise and sunset
Respect each other
Even though they’ve never met

If volcanoes get stressed
If storms have regrets
If compost believes in life after death

I wonder if breath ever thinks
About suicide
I wonder if the wind just wants to sit
Still sometimes
And watch the world pass by

If smoke was born knowing how to rise
If rainbows get shy back stage
Not sure if their colors match right

I wonder if lightning sets an alarm clock
To know when to crack
If rivers ever stop
And think of turning back

If streams meet the wrong sea
And their whole lives run off-track
I wonder if the snow wants to be black

If the soil thinks she’s too dark
If butterflies want to cover up their marks
If rocks are self-conscious of their weight
If mountains are insecure of their strength

I wonder if waves get discouraged
Crawling up the sand
Only to be pulled back again
To where they began

I wonder if land feels stepped upon
If sand feels insignificant
If trees need to question their lovers
To know where they stand

If branches waver in the crossroads
Unsure of which way to grow
If the leaves understand they’re replaceable
And still dance when the wind blows

I wonder where the moon goes
When she is hiding
I want to find her there
And watch the ocean
Spin from a distance
Listen to her
Stir in her sleep

Effort give way to existence

I can not wait to see this film (it just might be my big Thursday night plans). Check out more about Miss Representation here.

Newest Miss Representation Trailer (2011 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection) from on Vimeo.

I just got out of my Introduction to Feminisms class. While I left a little discouraged, there’s no doubt in my mind that stimulating conversation must lead us somewhere. In my eyes, we have nowhere to go but up from here, and we have nothing to lose by talking about these issues. Like why is it so difficult for a woman to be have success and still be liked and taken seriously?

A Few Ways to Create Change:

1. Measure yourself by your accomplishments and not how you look
2. Support media that champions accomplished women
3. Boycott magazines, movies and TV shows that objectify and degrade women (this one might be a challenge, at least for me, but what change isn’t challenging right??)
4. Go see movies that are written and directed by women
5. Write your own stories and create your own media about powerful women in non- traditional roles
6. Teach kids to look at the media critically
7. Ask your school to start a media literacy class focused on gender issues
8. Don’ t be afraid to challenge your friends if you hear them saying derogatory things about women
9. Find healthy role models and be a mentor to others
10. Encourage women to become leaders and support them in the process

After reading his book and watching a couple of his lectures, Van Jones has brought my concerns for social justice and the environment full circle. This man is incredible and someone to emulate. If only his message could reach the minds of more people. I could speak volumes on this subject, but he says it just perfectly.

I confess, I cried a bit when we watched this video in my Black & Green class on environmental justice. If you haven’t heard of Majora Carter, consider yourself officially introduced. What an inspiring individual.

I love me some TEDTalks, and I had to share this one. Journalist and “accidental theologist” Lesley Hazleton is the author of “After the Prophet: The Epic Story of the Shia-Sunni Split. I am interested in looking into her some more after hearing this talk. As an outsider to Islam, I find it easy to relate to her perspective as “a non-Muslim, a self-identified “tourist” in the Islamic holy book.”

Wouldn’t it be terrible? Wouldn’t it be sad?
If just one single color was the color that we had?
If everything was purple? Or red? Or blue? Or green?
If yellow, pink, or orange was all that could be seen?
Can you just imagine how dull the world would be
If just one single color was all that we could see?

To every corner of the earth. Martin Luther King Jr is a paramount example of the worth of one life. What an impact one man could make, not only on the lives he saved and the hearts he touched, but a movement…. a Movement. The Civil Rights Movement marks a people’s determination to overcome. While the battle is far from over, it has been due to those strong leaders like Dr. King that any progress has been made at all.

I, too, sing America.
By Langston Hughes

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I’ll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me,
“Eat in the kitchen,”
Then.

Besides,
They’ll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed–

I, too, am America.