When presented with the all too daunting and overwhelming question of the “meaning of life,” I always come back to one answer: the pursuit of self-awareness. The above picture is of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, that is our instinctual needs as human beings. It is pretty self-explanatory, and I’m sure you can draw your own meaning from it.

Is it us that change or is it just our surroundings? Do experiences really change us or do they just change how we think about the world? A few of my friends have left to study abroad in the past couple weeks, going everywhere from Paris to Prague to Madrid to Norway. It got me thinking of my Summer in London and the experience I had there.

I definitely gained some confidence and valuable experience in the Design industry, but how much did the experience really change me? I think making the decision to live abroad, getting accustomed to a new culture and becoming familiar with a new city, have all added in parts to my independence. Sometimes, (if this is not true about everything in our lives for certain people), we do things because we want them to change us in some way, or we want to grow somehow from the experience. I went abroad because I wanted to expand my knowledge not only of another culture but also of myself in some sense.

Last night I was chatting with a friend about relationships which eventually turned into a conversation about change, primarily the question whether or not people can change. I’ve always wanted to believe that people can change, but it’s something I’ve battled with for years. Sometimes we want something so badly that we convince ourselves we can change either ourselves or another person involved. What we fail to see however is that change takes time, and we have no control over someone else’s progress and growth, which is independent from our own.

When we finally can realize actually how little control we have over others, it can free us from the burdens of this naive and usually unfulfilled hope. Often times when we love someone, or even when we don’t, we choose to see that person for who we want them to be instead of who they actually are. Similarly, we see ourselves for who we aim to be instead of who we present ourselves as. Just as when we see, what we experience is affected by what we already know and believe to be true.

I’m not saying that there is no hope for change and growth. I am however saying that it is extremely difficult, and a process that takes years if not a lifetime. And I think that’s ok. For in reality, if we started out perfect, where would we have to progress? As humans we are flawed. I think the trick is to recognize those flaws and address them humbly. If we are to love someone fully, we must love them with all of their flaws and accept that they are human.

If we are to change at all in any way, we must be able to look at ourselves for what we truly are, in an honest light. We must then, and not first, be actually willing to change something. As long as we think it is the world around us that needs changing and not us, we will never be able to grow.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

“Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.”

“Spend some amount of time alone everyday.”

“Open yourself to change, but do not let go of your values.”

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s
ability, one can build a better world.”

“Once a year, go some place you have never been.”

“Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.”

“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message;
that is love, compassion, and forgiveness are the important things
that should be part of our daily lives.”

This year has been a bumpy one! But then again, the road never stays smooth for too long. While I am not a firm believer in “deciding to turn your whole life around” on New Years Day, I do look at it as an opportunity – An opportunity to let go of the past, wipe your hands, and usher in the new. To me, New Years is a reminder of the opportunity we have every day to control our destiny. So if you haven’t already this year, take some time out to reflect back on where you were last New Years, and what you may and may not have accomplished. What are you proud of? What do you regret? Now multiply your successes and minimize your mistakes.

Forgiveness is something easier talked about than actually done (this includes forgiving ourselves). There are some mistakes we are able to forgive with little difficulty, while others seem to bring an endless serving of guilt and or blame.

Life is about changes, and more of the little ones for that matter. It’s less about the changes outside us that we can’t control and more about the changes inside of us that we can.

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
-    Lewis B. Smedes

“A person who makes few mistakes makes little progress.”
-    Bryant H. McGill

“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.”
-    Swami Sivananda

With that said,

Happy New Beginnings in 2010!

Alexander Wang : Jac T-Strap Flat Sandal

These gorgeous sandals are retailing for $395. I can’t say I’m surprised, coming from Alexander Wang. I just want to try them on my feet once! And then around the city for a bit….

Available at Opening Ceremony.

The Duffel Coat by 3sixteen

I’ve been slacking on these posts, I know. This coat is so handsome though! Actually, I would probably wear it as a girl, especially in Camel. I’m such a sucker for toggles. Get them online here.

How much time do you spend thinking about the friendships you have? I don’t mean actually thinking about your friends, but rather the nature of the relationships you have with them. Like, at what point do you consider someone a friend and not just an acquaintance? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you just click with someone you meet and the friendship seems to grown over night. But this isn’t how it usually works. Like any relationship, friendships take time to build and become meaningful.

I try not to write about my personal life, but I’ve been going through something lately that has forced me to do a heavy load of reflecting in my life. Along the way, it has shown me what real friends are like. Without their support, I wonder if I would have had the strength to do the things I’ve done and come this far. We all have struggles, big and small, that we need help getting through. It’s during those times when you realize how grateful you are to have those people behind you.

Aristotle believed happiness to be the virtuous activity of the soul over the whole life. And in talking about happiness, he also distinguished three bases of friendship; those based on utility, pleasure, and virtue. To break this down, I would say we have our work friends, our weekend friends, and our true friends. The characteristics of a virtuous friendship, where we have our true friends, is a mutual caring and genuine concern for the well being of each other.

How many of your friends can you say you actually feel this way about? Any? I guess this presumes that you have these qualities and are not completely selfish. I would say it’s probably difficult to feel this way about someone if the feeling is not mutual. But it’s interesting to think about the nature of our own relationships with the company we keep.

There are obviously different levels of friendship, and often it may just be a matter of time for a friendship to grow and mature. I have said this many times before, and not just in regards to friends, but across all aspects of my life… quality over quantity. Because what’s the point in having many friends based on pleasure, and none based on virtue? In actuality, the best friendship can be a combination of both, but the reality is – it takes both time and effort to build relationships.

Today, it is all about advertising yourself and racking up friends and “followers.” But how many of those people would you actually confide in (never mind hold more than a 10 minute conversation with)??? I could be wrong, but I’m willing to guess few. I’m not saying don’t make new friends. I am saying I think we need to make better quality friends. True, the benefits of networking can never be underestimated. My point however, is simply the importance of high quality friends.

With so much communication over technology and the internet these days, there are so many distractions to making real connections with people. I’m not preaching, because I’m guilty of it too, but I definitely think it’s something we should stay aware of. Value the true friends you have. Never take them for granted. Keep your eyes open for other real friendships around you, and don’t waste your time with the disingenuous ones. Life is too short to surround yourself with the wrong people.

All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
- George Macdonald

“The Cove exposes the slaughter of more than 20,000 dolphins and porpoises in Taiji, Japan every year, and how their meat, containing toxic levels of mercury, is being sold as food in Japan and other parts of Asia, often labeled as whale meat. The majority of the world is not aware this is happening as the Taiji cove is blocked off from the public. The focus of the Social Action Campaign for The Cove is to create worldwide awareness of this annual practice as well as the dangers of eating seafood contaminated with mercury and to pressure those in power to put an end to the slaughter.”

What a great way to spread awareness. I will admit, I’m not very educated on the dolphin situation in Japan, but I think we all need to educate ourselves a little more on stuff like this. The Cove came out in theaters this past summer. But if you haven’t seen it already, catch it on DVD December 8th.

5 Things You Can Do Now:

1. Write to our leaders and help get the word out in Japan
2. Learn more about dolphins in captivity
3. Choose the safest fish to eat
4. Help Save Japan Dolphins’ efforts on the frontlines
5. Support the filmmakers with your donation

Comments are hard to come by. So if you don’t feel like commenting about anything specific, e-mail me at weareindigo@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you, your thoughts about the blog, or just about life (if you have any, which I’m sure you do). If you are enjoying the blog, let me know. Feedback would be great.

Have a new favorite artist you think people are possibly sleeping on or maybe just needs to be heard? Or some of your own artwork or poetry you want to share with us? Send it my way! Quick notes to ramblings and everything in between are welcome.

Thanks!

Email: weareindigo@gmail.com

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We are constantly living our lives in search of something, but what exactly? Before I go any further, I want to say, I don’t have an answer to that question. Socrates said, “the more you know, the more you realize you know nothing.” Growth has no end.

What I do know, however, is that growth requires both reflection and action. And if we are to grow in any capacity, we must be in constant reflection and the pursuit of forward movement.

I think we have to ask ourselves, “Where have we come from, and where are we going?”

As a student at a Jesuit College, I have taken to heart the value of “educating the whole person.” My enjoyment in life is dependent on many things, including personal expression, growth, relationships and interactions. And I believe as long as I am standing still, I am not moving forward. I don’t dress the same way today as I did when I was in middle school or high school. I don’t listen to the same music as I used to either. I don’t view myself as the same person today as I was when I started high school or even when I finished.

So maybe, if nothing else, this site could be my own reflection on my growth both as an individual and as a part of society. I want to pay tribute to individuality, creativity and self expression of all forms.

I realize I didn’t mention what I’ll be posting, but I guess you’ll just have to see!

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The concept developed in the 1970s. The name refers directly to the Indigo-colored aura around this certain type of person. Indigo Children are thought to be strong-willed, intuitive and independent individuals. Along with their clear sense of self-definition and purpose, they are seen as being unusually creative and eccentric. These people are those who resist conformity and embrace change. They have been described as extremely empathic individuals and display an unprecedented level of kindness and sensitivity to the world around them.

Are you an Indigo child?