We Are Indigo

How much time do you spend thinking about the friendships you have? I don’t mean actually thinking about your friends, but rather the nature of the relationships you have with them. Like, at what point do you consider someone a friend and not just an acquaintance? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you just click with someone you meet and the friendship seems to grown over night. But this isn’t how it usually works. Like any relationship, friendships take time to build and become meaningful.

I try not to write about my personal life, but I’ve been going through something lately that has forced me to do a heavy load of reflecting in my life. Along the way, it has shown me what real friends are like. Without their support, I wonder if I would have had the strength to do the things I’ve done and come this far. We all have struggles, big and small, that we need help getting through. It’s during those times when you realize how grateful you are to have those people behind you.

Aristotle believed happiness to be the virtuous activity of the soul over the whole life. And in talking about happiness, he also distinguished three bases of friendship; those based on utility, pleasure, and virtue. To break this down, I would say we have our work friends, our weekend friends, and our true friends. The characteristics of a virtuous friendship, where we have our true friends, is a mutual caring and genuine concern for the well being of each other.

How many of your friends can you say you actually feel this way about? Any? I guess this presumes that you have these qualities and are not completely selfish. I would say it’s probably difficult to feel this way about someone if the feeling is not mutual. But it’s interesting to think about the nature of our own relationships with the company we keep.

There are obviously different levels of friendship, and often it may just be a matter of time for a friendship to grow and mature. I have said this many times before, and not just in regards to friends, but across all aspects of my life… quality over quantity. Because what’s the point in having many friends based on pleasure, and none based on virtue? In actuality, the best friendship can be a combination of both, but the reality is – it takes both time and effort to build relationships.

Today, it is all about advertising yourself and racking up friends and “followers.” But how many of those people would you actually confide in (never mind hold more than a 10 minute conversation with)??? I could be wrong, but I’m willing to guess few. I’m not saying don’t make new friends. I am saying I think we need to make better quality friends. True, the benefits of networking can never be underestimated. My point however, is simply the importance of high quality friends.

With so much communication over technology and the internet these days, there are so many distractions to making real connections with people. I’m not preaching, because I’m guilty of it too, but I definitely think it’s something we should stay aware of. Value the true friends you have. Never take them for granted. Keep your eyes open for other real friendships around you, and don’t waste your time with the disingenuous ones. Life is too short to surround yourself with the wrong people.

All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
- George Macdonald

Tags: Aristotle, friends, friendship

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 19th, 2009 at 12:31 am and is filed under We are Random, We are The Big Idea. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.